Random Update

1. Sis got married.
2. I have been transferred to another location.
3. Struggling to find a nice apartment in this new location.
4. Undergoing training program in the new position.
5. Have joined dance classes here. Today is my second class.
6. Have finally taken an important decision in my life.Repercussions expected shortly.
7. I cancelled my GMAT appointment which was there on 2nd april.

5 things pulling my performance down

Its not easy to specify the things which you are battling with, and the problems that you are not able to deal with effectively. The objective of this post is to list down these issues clearly and work upon it.

1. Deprived of Concentration: Staying concentrated on something has never been my strongest point but its affecting my performance big time now. A typical example of this is--I am reading some stuff related to my work and all of a sudden, I will jump to one of the blogs on gmat. I will start reading soemthing there and then I will remember that I am supposed to reply to that mail.
2. Delayed completion: Oh well, this could have passed out as a headline for some post too but lets leave it for another time. The second problem that I am encountering is that I never finish what I have started. It's affecting my studies, my work and other activities of my daily life. I will take something to 95% completion but just wont complete it, and will let it hang out there till such time as it doesnot become super-duper urgent.
3. Damn too much of planning: Oh yes, I also suffer from this. Once in a while, I get these fancy ideas, which I will quickly translate into one of those fancy looking excel sheets with timetables, colour-coated columns, details of to-do list on almost hourly basis, and a promise to revisit this sheet and keep a proper check. I am sure I must have nothing less than 10 different formats of what I intend to do. And it does not always restrict itself to work and study, it also includes the daily walk, exercise 4 days in a week, finishing one week every book, getting to know someone in my workplace, diet, habits, newspaper reading etc etc. Whuff! I am plain tired listing all the crap that I keep on dumping in these so called excel sheets (my panacea to heaven).
4. Dithering attitude: Why can't I keep on studying for half an hour that I have planned? Why can't I get up in the morning on time and not put the alarm on snooze or stop altogether---when I have promised myself that I will wake up on time? Why cant I stick to a decision and not dither midway? Why?
5. Distractions: Oh, you decided you will study for a good couple of hours or you will read a book. And there God conspires against you and send you some little distraction from somewhere, which you cant seemingly overcome. It may be going out for a movie, an interesting program on tv while you just happen to flip some channel, you remmeber all of a sudden that fantastic junk food sold around the corner of your street, an urge to drive and listen to some music, an old friend who you haven't called for a long time, that address change that you need to do so that your magazine reaches you on time, that packet of groceries lying somewhere in the kitchen that you haven't sorted and stored properly. And I can go on and on.

But you know guys, whats the only medicine to cure these 5 'D's. Well, its another 'D'.

DISCIPLINE.

Back without a bang:(

Hi,
I logged into this accoutn after a long time, and was surprised to see that my last post was in July 2007, an astonishing 7-8 months ago. Time flies. I dint even realize that its been such a long time since I am absent from this blog.

Here's an update on what all I have done and not done in last few months-
The not-so-nice-to-look-at first:
1. Previous assignment- Moved away from the group with which I was associated for almost 5 years. In some ways, this is not what I wanted to do but then you dont always have a choice.
2. Assignment now- I have been given a different asisgnment, and this one sucks. No, not because the work is not interesting or people are difficult to handle but because I am not working and I have been quite passive about my work. The writing on the wall is clear- have to finish my assignment, report, presentation in next 6 weeks, and then decide whether I want to stay here and carry on or move to a different department within same organization. I am just wondering how my superior is gonna evalauate me....my performance on this particular assignment surely sucks
3. GMAT Prep- Have not done anything except register on www.mba.com and take a date for the test- 2nd april. Yes thats the date that I have taken. I am on my 4th day of prep and gmat is 47 days away. I am buying OG 11 and Kaplan today, have finished a large part of PR already.
4. Arguments, fights on-n-off with my loved ones. (Why do I need to have such strong opinions about everything...ahh)
5. Oh I was refused a visa for visiting a country because one of the pages had some watermark---had to get a new passpost in a jiffy, and now waiting for my visa. Now this reminds me I need to update my passport details with Pearson Vue. (now see this is the benefit of blogging.)
6. New year resolutions made and not kept.
7. Had a very unpleasant experience in the workplace---will never be able to forget it.

Now some nice-things-to-look-at:
1. Moved into a nice, big, better looking apartment last year.
2. Got my first car (Oh thats a different thing that got few dents/marks here and there ,with me being a first time user, and yes, have claimed insurance once (that was a freak accident----I bunked second half of my office on a windy rainy day to go out and do something different---and not spoil the mood by sitting inside and look at rain from the window of my office----thanks to low visibility and one wrong move, the front door on left side of car got a big ugly looking dent. only good news- got all other dents etc fixed while claiming insurance! Alright for the awareness of readers- people generally say that if you can drive in the city that I reside in, you can drive anywhere in the world--dont be a morose, let me help myself in getting my spirits high)
3. Sister's marriage is fixed. She moved to a different city, and got a better job.
4. Participated in a big event at the Group level, and reached National Finals.
5. Got in touch with some long lost friends thru orkut.

So, thats all as of now. I wanted to sum up the key things that have happened in last few months and will write another post for the things which await in the future.

Cyaa

Castles in the air

I have just started reading a book titled 'The Intelligent Investor' by Benjamin Graham. This book is considered Bible for all those interested in Security Analysis, Shares and Bond Markets, Deep value investing, Fundamental analysis etc, with Benjamin Graham being the 'GOD' in this field. Incidentally, Warren Buffet was one of his pupils in Columbia University, and regarded Benjamin as one of the most influential persons in his life. You can read more about Benjamin Graham on the following link-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Graham

I will suggest the readers to read this book at some point of time---I am not reading this because I am interested in share market or anything of that sort. I have never invested a penny in share market, and dont even intend to do. The reason why I am reading this book is because of the way this book desribes the mental make-up of people, the way people analyze certain situations and react, the way herd mentality in the market make people buy at high prices, and sell at low. The idea is to understand more about human mind, driven by greed, fear, euphoria and irrationality, with a backdrop of investing.

Alrite, now coming back to this post, the real reason why I am writing is to share something written in the book 'The Intelligent Investor'. And here it goes-

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
- Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Castles---MBA in a Top B-school
Foundation---GMAT Preparation (to start with)

Hmmm....

I AM ON MY WAY TO HELL!

Phew!

For past 4-5 days, I am going thru some very interesting blogs of GMAT Applicants. The mist seems to be giving way to more clarity. I have been thinking of another MBA overseas...ANOTHER?.....oh yah, I already have a MBA degree from a premier Indian B-school under my belt. And now a 5 years work experience post MBA too!

I am on the information collection mode as of now. I have no clue about how to go about taking GMAT, the schools that i shall target, the specialization that I want to do, the way finances will be arrnaged.....not to forget, convincing my mom for doing another MBA....and most importantly, convincing her that I dont want to settle down now. She is the sweetest mom! And she is really worried about me....."You have done your MBA, AND have now worked for 5 years, AND you dont have any responsibilities now, AND its time for you to settle down, AND you are going to be 28 next month, AND there is always a time to do something, AND you should plan your family life now, AND.....AND....AND". Well, I dont deny what she thinks make sense. But not for me, not right now:)

I have my eyes set on something different, though I am clueless about a lot of things as of now. The decision to pursue this course of my life came rather late. I, actually, thought that all I need to do is concentrate on my work, explore new avenues in my job, improve/acquire new skills...blah blah blah. The going has been GREAT so far. Professionally, I am one of the youngest officers in middle management bands in my organization. Have been involved in various assignments spanning various functions. Personally, I have enjoyed being part of the project that I am working on. So much so that the last resume that I preapred was way back in my B-school days when we were all applying for our final placements. I dont even have a CV today!

But still....

There is a long way to go. There is a life that I want to live, the way I want to live.

As of now, I am reading people's blogs, going thru various links, adding to favorites- all the sites that I want to visit in detail, trying to get in touch with people in my city who also aspired to take GMAT. The goals will be set shortly, the target b-schools picture would be tucked nicely around the wall of my study table, early morning sessions would also start, and so will start the anxiety, phases of low-confidence, frustration, excitement, dreams, self-denial in order to have self-realization, oh...the math sums (I hate maths:() The relaxed evenings, sleepy sunday afternoons, holidays, adda-bazi, ummm....interesting dates....all will take a back seat now.

And many more things have to wait now....Mom, you too!

So, wish me luck!

I AM ON MY WAY TO HELL!

Hey

Hi,

Checking my profile.....huh!

Well, actually its been a while since I have written anything here. But I guess I will be more active now.

Take care, and do send me the links if possible.

Cheers!

Kahlil Gibran's 'The Prophet'

Selections from 'The Prophet'

THEN a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with yourtears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into yourbeing, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the verycup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes yourspirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only thatwhich has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping
for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you atstandstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs mustyour joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Time to move

Today is 15th Sep, and time for me to pack my bags once again and leave. Got up in the morning thinking that I will do my packing, and then leave for office, so that i am not constrained in the evening. My flight to India is tomorrow. However, the exchange of messages on orkut with Gautam yesterday made me open my laptop, and check my mail first thing in the morning to see if wrote anything else after I logged out yesterday.

Well, he did made me sit back and think about ISTT. I, actually, was an active participant in that, and now its been so so many months that I have not written anything. Infact the last Kolkata Meet was in Aug 2004.

Alrite, will do something in Cal this time.

The Virtue of Selfishness

"To think, is to man's self-interst; to suspend his consciousness, is not. to choose his goals in the full context of his knowledge, his values and his life, is to man's self- interst; to act on the impulse of the moment, without regard for his long-range context, is not. To exist as a a productive being, is to man's self- interest; to attempt to exist as a paraasite, is not. To seek the life proper to his nature, is to man's self- interst; to seek to live as an animal is not."

- Nathaniel Branden, 'Who is Ayn Rand?'

I came, I saw, I conquered!

When I look back and think of my childhood, there is one picture, which is imprinted in my heart. It was 1987, and I was eight years old. Our family had just moved to a different place, and as soon as I got an opportunity to explore the place, I was on my way to our terrace, and from their to our neighbour's terrace on 3rd floor. There was a small wall dividing our neighbour's terrace from their immediate neighbour. I managed to climb on that wall, and stood there with one foot infront of other, barely balancing myself on that narrow wall. And when I looked infront of me, I could see hundreds of small houses from there. I had managed to stand on the tallest structure in our street in a small town. I dont know why but that sight was so engrossing....I was mesmerized. I have always loved heights. And I figured it out pretty early in my life (terraces, and such walls were my favorite spots). That sight was an achievement in itself, just the fact that I managed to see it by sneaking into some unknown neighbour's terrace, and standing at that height, gave me a pleasure unknown to me before.
Years later, I still look out of window everytime I travel on plane, or wherever I manage to be on a tall building . I still remember whenever our family use to go to some hill station during summer vacations, my head always use to be out of car. Even my parents scolding was not enough to keep me inside the car for more than 10 minutes. Whether it was a hill station or top of a narrow wall in my street, looking at the things infront of me, I always had a feeling as if the world is out there for you to come and conquer it!
That was long time back....so many things have changed. I am a grown up person now, have supposedly seen a lot in life but there are few pictures and memories which keep on coming back to you! And few things which keep you reminding that yes, world is still out there, waiting for you tc come, and conquer it!